My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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