omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
