she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
