Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
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This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
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My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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