we have pet lesbian snakes
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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