You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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