it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize