I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
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its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
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thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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