Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
