hotties wanna shake it
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor