were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
where am i from again
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
