I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize