bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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