Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
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