I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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