On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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