No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize