I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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