DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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