im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize