Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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