i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin