Are you dead
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.