office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My vagina is officially offended.
Drunk is not a location!