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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  my cup is half full, half full of rum.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Because we had sex in one.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.

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• (+36): View more from

  until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...

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• (310): View more from California

  I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.

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