her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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