who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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