I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
