Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
