Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize