i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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