I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
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