Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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