why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Randomize
