Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have tasted many bathrooms
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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