I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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