Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
