I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize