Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize