Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.