she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
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I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
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Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.