She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
