So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
