Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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