After last night, I could never be a politician.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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