that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
