dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
