Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
