Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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