im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize