he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
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Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
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He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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