remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
