There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize