We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
