when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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