Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
